Quotes From 'Deadpool' That Prove He Is As Insanely Funny As He Is Deep
1) Life is an endless series of train-wrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness.
2) I do not hate everything about the world. Just every show they've ever put on after 'Friends'.
3) Ajax: “Do you have an off switch?”
Deadpool: “It’s right next to the prostate, or is that the on switch?”
4) Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo.
5) You're probably thinking "Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie"? I can't tell you his name, but it rhymes with 'pulverine.'”
6) Wow, this is such a big house, but I only ever see the two of you here. It's like the studio didn't have enough money for any more X-Men.
7) I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn't having it. They made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent.
8) You don’t need to be a superhero to get the girl, the right girl will bring out the hero in you.
9) WAIT! You may be wondering why the red suit. Well, that's so bad guys don't see me bleed.
[Points at a thug on the left]
This guy's got the right idea... He wore the brown pants!
10) Whatever they did to me made me totally indestructible... and completely unfuckable.
11) I don't want to go to Mexico for treatment. Do you know what the Spanish word is for cancer? El cancer
12) Your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left leg is Christmas. Can I come and visit you between the holidays?
13) I didn't ask to be super, and I'm no hero. But when you find out your worst enemy is after your best girl, the time has come to be a fucking superhero.
14) Looks *are* everything. You ever heard David Beckham speak? It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. Think Ryan Reynolds got this far on his superior acting method?
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