Quotes From 'Deadpool' That Prove He Is As Insanely Funny As He Is Deep 1) Life is an endless series of train-wrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness. 2) I do not hate everything about the world. Just every show they've ever put on after 'Friends'. 3) Ajax: “Do you have an off switch?” Deadpool: “It’s right next to the prostate, or is that the on switch?” 4) Today was about as much fun as a sandpaper dildo. 5) You're probably thinking "Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie"? I can't tell you his name, but it rhymes with 'pulverine.'” 6) Wow, this is such a big house, but I only ever see the two of you here. It's like the studio didn't have enough money for any more X-Men. 7) I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn't having it. They made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he...